So how about that full moon?!
Holy smokes! It has taken me a while to get my fingers on the key board and sort out all that craziness. This was some crazy planetary alignment for me, and I was all over the map in terms of feelings. Considering I am someone who likes to live in “feelings forward” kind of way, I found myself falling inward; reverting back to my old ways.
Although I seem to be an extrovert, I tend to be private. I kept my heart locked up tight. I’m friendly and giving but sometimes I found it hard to open up myself and preferred to stay a bit guarded. It protected me from getting hurt. Getting clear on how I wanted to feel by working through the Desire Map, attending Landmark and following their ‘Curriculum for Living’, and my journey to becoming a yoga teacher has allowed me to open my heart and become more connected to my feelings. It hasn’t been easy. All the feels…all the time….it’s a bit scary.
Vulnerability is not something I do well. I mean, I cry a lot (c’mon like it’s excessive hahaha) but I also feel like my pent up emotions just leak out of my eyeballs sometimes. I have washed my yoga mat a thousand times in tears. I used to be embarrassed about my tears. I realize with all my work, how much courage it takes to be vulnerable. One of my core desired feelings is Courage. As the immortal Gord Downey put it sometimes “it couldn’t come at a worst time”. In my case though, it couldn’t come at a better time.
This full moon landed right on my 42nd birthday. I was surrounded by my best and closest friends, and I was able to open up and disclose some things that had been weighing me down. Through sharing, we were able to open up and we all helped each other. The situation hasn’t changed per se but it has gotten easier to bear. We laughed, we drank, we cried, as friends do, and somehow it just got better. None of this would have been possible without having courage to open your heart up to your homegirls.
I am so blessed that the full moon pushed me to change. I am so blessed to have wonderful people in my life who I can talk to about anything. I don’t really need to be afraid to get things off my chest. I just need to find a friend and display some vulnerability.
This long weekend don’t be afraid to feel all the feels and display some courage and vulnerability. Your friends have got your back.
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